Last night we had the State of the Union on TV for a bit while fixing dinner, when the camera panned to John Kerry for a minute. Frnakly, he looked pretty horrible, and had a shiner around each eye. “Holy crap, what happened to him?” I asked.

Neither my husband or I had any idea, so after a quick Googling, we discovered that Mr. Kerry was apparently involved in some kind of hockey game incident (is that redundant?) “over the holidays” that resulted in a broken nose.

Now, Kerry is 68 years old. What the hell kind of hockey was this? Don’t answer that, I have a feeling it could have been played with Nerf equipment and very likely could have ended like this.

I don’t get hockey.